In the Biblical times old people were honored. It was just part of ancient culture. Youth culture today, with its music, social media and latest fads would be incomprehensible to people who lived in ancient Israel.

My job at Pinnacle is called “Associate for Senior Adults.” I didn’t quite know what that meant when I was first hired on. But now I have a better grasp of what that means. I have learned what it means from so many older people I teach regularly, visit in hospitals, and talk to informally.

A few years ago I pulled into Walgreen’s Drug Store in our neighborhood. I parked in a space where there were two empty spaces on either side. I went into the store, got my prescription and walked back to my car. When I got there I saw that there was another car parked unbelievalbly close to my car....so close in fact that the front right wheel of the other vehicle was actually touching the front left wheel of my car. I couldn’t even get inside my car on the driver’s side. I was furious thinking, “Who was the idiot who parked so close?”

Then an old woman came doddering out of the store, walked up to the offending car and said, “Oh my, did I park too close to you?”

Immediately it all came into focus. She wasn’t even aware that she had parked so close. She probably should not be driving any more. Perhaps her children were trying to take her keys away. It reminded me of the saying, “To know all is to forgive all.”

I said to her, “It’s quite all right. But do you mind if I take your keys and back your car up so you can get it.” She sweetly handed me her keys. I gently backed her car up, moved it where she could get in, then high tailed it out of the parking lot before she could start her engine!

My mother is no longer able to drive. She has short-term memory issues. I have learned to adjust to her frailties. I even surprise my wife with my patience with my mom.

I realize that someday far soon I may be like my mom. Until then I want her to have love and dignity, as I want for all our seniors at Pinnacle.

I think it’s pretty cool that Pinnacle established a position serving senior adults. Somebody once upon a time remembered how the Bible thinks about old people, and said, “You know, Pinnacle ought to do the same.” 

I heard somone say, “I don’t want to live much beyond 70, because all your systems break down after that.” Coming up on 70 myself, I don’t think I agree with that!

I was trying to recruit a friend to the Board of Trustees at Warren Wilson College. He would have made a strong trustee because of his background and experience. He declined immediately say, “I’m almost 75 and after 75 you begin to shuffle.”

I have thought quite a bit about this process of again. Maybe because my title at PPC is “Minister of Senior Adults,” or it’s because my mother is 89 and our family has had to deal with many of her health and attitude issues.

I’ve concluded that if we do live after 70, we are blessed to have relatively good health, a few friends, and something constructive to do. Having lived with a pinched nerve in my neck for nearly three months now, I understand how a health issue can beat you down and change your life in negative ways. On those days when I have been mostly pain free, I sometimes startle myself by realizing, “I feel o.k. just now, and I thank God for that, and for all the years I’ve had with no health problems.”

Here’s a prayer written by an old women in the 17th century.

Lord, thy knowest better than I know myself
that I am growing older and will someday be old.
Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say
something on every subject and, on every occasion.
Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs.

Make me thoughtful but not moody, helpful but not bossy,
With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all.
But, Thou knowest Lord that I want a few friends at the end.
Keep my mind from the recitals of endless details.
Give me wings to get to the point.

Seal my lips on my aches and pains.
They are increasing and love of rehearsing them
is becoming sweeter as the time goes by.
I do not ask for Grace enough to enjoy the tales
of other's pain but, help me endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but, for a
growing humility and a lessening cocksureness
when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others.
Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet
I do not want to be a Saint.
Some of them are so hard to live with.
But, a sour person is the works of the Devil.

A few years ago I began thinking in a systematic way about who I was and what I aspired to be. I decided to formulate a few personal aspirations and write them down. At the time I was senior pastor of a large Presbyterian church, so that my aspirations had to do with my personal life and professional life. Here’s what I wrote:

• An increasing trust in God and His promises.
• A decreasing reliance upon myself and my abilities.
• Continued personal healing.
• Daily surrender to Christ, my Lord and Savior.
• To be teachable and correctable always.
• To be humble before God and others.
• To be responsible in all my doings.
• To appropriate the grace given today.
• To nurture a quiet, gentle spirit.
• To experience increased serenity.
• To turn over all anxiety to the One who controls my future.
• To be merciful toward others.
• To have wisdom in words and silence.
• To have the discernment to act, not react.
• To be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading.
• To be totally obedient to the Lord’s will and word.
• To be willing to change.
• To take suggestions from church staff, church leaders and the congregation and act on them in a conscientious way.
• To exceed expectations, rather than meet expectations of the congregation. 

Beginning on Sunday, March 9 at 11:15 and continuing at the same time on March 16 and 23^rd I am going to lead the second round of “I Am Growing Old.” We had over 75 participants in the first round back in October, and people who missed it asked me to repeat it.

So we are going to repeat the series, but with different content. On March 9^th John King will lead us in an exercise called “Writing Your Spiritual Autobiography.” As we grow old we have accumulated a life-time of memories, values and experiences. Most of us have not written them down. If you can come to our series on March 9, 16, and 23^rd it will help you “get your affairs in order” as they say, and one of those significant pieces is to communicate to your family and children what you believe, what is important to you.

If you can’t come to the classes, sit down at your computer and write our your personal aspirations.  I think you will find it a worthwhile exercise.  

Late last June my mother, Mildred Swicegood, had a terrible fall and broke her pelvis and right arm. Since then she has journeyed from hospital to rehab center to her current residence in an Independent Living Facility in Winston-Salem, N.C.

My mom was widowed at 49 and took over my dad’s insurance agency. She became the first female agent for her company in the state of N.C. For seventeen years she built her business and carved out a fiercely independent life.  She was good at what she did, and took pride in every aspect of her life.

I began noticing her memory lapses when she was in the nursing rehabilitation center late last summer. I would tell her something in the morning and in the afternoon she would ask me again. At first it made me angry: “I just told you that four hours ago.” I hung the phone up one day when she made me furious with some outlandish demand.

Then it slowly dawned on me what was going on. Since then it has been hard to determine what she remembers, what she is being ornery about, or how competent she is to manage her own affairs.

For example we have hired a nurse to come into her apartment every day to administer her meds. This after she had them all confused and would take two days dosage at a time, or forget to take them at all. She continually complains about the $6 she has to pay the nurse for each visit. No amount of explanation will mollify her.

Dealing with a difficult, aging parent is uncharted territory for my family. There are no set of instructions, and it is stressful and baffling. 

It got so bad a few months ago that I began praying about it–Lord, help me to know what to do! (Why is it that we only pray when we are at our wits end? At least that’s my pattern.)

I found a prayer for an aging mother that I have posted on our refrigerator, where we put all the important stuff like pictures of our grandchildren. Here is my modified version of it: 

Dear God:

I thank you for my mother, who gave me the gift of life, and so enabled me to see a sunrise, to hear a symphony, and to know the joy of life and love.

She took care of me when I was young--fed me, clothed me, loved me. Now as she grows old and frail,

Help me to be patient with her infirmities, and to be kind to her in every way I possibly can. Surround her each day with your contentment

And send her to sleep each night with angel’s songs. And at the last welcome her into your heavenly home.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen