Navigating the Complex Landscape of Grief
Wednesday, February 5, 2025
by Dr. Ilona Kubiaczyk-Adler
Grief is a deeply personal journey that touches every one of us, yet remains one of the most challenging emotional experiences we encounter. When we lose a loved one, the emotional landscape can feel overwhelming: intense sadness, confusion, and a profound sense of absence are just some of the emotions which come and go. Grief does not seem to be a linear process, but rather a complex emotional terrain.
Since deep grief has been my companion this last year, I couldn’t help myself to do some research on what the psychologically healthy ways of navigating grief are. Here’s what I found and decided to share.
Acknowledging the depth of our emotions without judgment seems like a good first step. There is no "correct" way to grieve. We may feel intense sorrow, experience numbness or even momentary relief. All of these reactions are valid and part of the healing process. Allowing ourselves to feel these emotions fully, rather than suppressing them, is essential.
Surrounding ourselves with a supportive community of empathetic friends, family and church members, or counseling professionals can help in the process as well. If you are currently suffering from grief over loss of a spouse, parent or child, Pastor Mike leads a grief support group here at Pinnacle. The group meets weekly on Mondays at 4 pm in the Chapel Parlor. The group has just begun for the spring and will continue for ten weeks. Please contact Pastor Mike mhegeman@pinnaclepres.org for more information.
Self-care is probably the one we forget the most during grief. It’s hard to keep reminding ourselves that nurturing our physical and emotional health through regular sleep, nutritious food, gentle exercise, and mindfulness practices is extremely important. Some other ways to treat ourselves with care are meditation, journaling, spending time in nature - whatever can help process complex emotions and provide moments of peace amid intense pain.
I have also learned that being patient and compassionate with myself is paramount. Grief does not operate on a predetermined timeline, and healing is not about "getting over" a loss, but learning to integrate it into our lives. Some days feel more challenging than others, and that's completely normal. It’s ok to take time, to slow down, to cry.
What seems to have been the most important to learn in my own journey with deep grief is that healing is not about forgetting, but about learning to live meaningfully while carrying the memory of our loved ones in our hearts.