The Daily Minutia to Monumental Catastrophe
My mind speeds through each day with moments of “will I ever have another manicure?” to reliving catastrophes such as 9/11.  The highs and lows I am experiencing are so profound that I can’t remember a time I have felt this way.  Maybe moments when my children were first born and my life as I knew it was altered overnight.  I can remember putting my new baby down for a nap and starting the dishes or some remedial daily task.  As I would daydream with the monotony of scrubbing a dirty pot, I would wake from my fog and think “Oh my goodness, I have a baby!”

Now the feeling is the same, as when I was a new mom.  I can go about my day immersed in a work project or chopping vegetables for dinner and suddenly think… “Oh my goodness, we’re in the middle of a pandemic!”  I know everyone is feeling this way, especially those of us that have not experienced the virus within our circle of life.  It’s like a slap in the face at times, “wake up, put your mask on, wash your hands, distance yourself, panic!”

Each of us is experiencing this crisis differently based on our age, geographic location, personality, job status and really… a hundred different elements.  And yet, our feelings and fears are mostly the same.  Sometimes we feel we should just surrender to this life-shaping force and follow the suggested guidelines to a tee.  Sometimes we feel that the world is overreacting and that life must go on.  I must say, I experience both of these emotions and many emotions that are somewhere in between all day long, every day.  What does that say about me, I question myself?  I haven’t found the answer yet.

The coronavirus pandemic will certainly be a defining experience in our lifetime.  It’s similar to those who experienced the Great Depression or World War II, it just doesn’t leave you.  It will forever alter our sense of vulnerability and our sense of how small our world is.  There will be bright spots of hope, but also difficult transformations for society and ourselves as we recover.  But, will we ever fully recover?  Maybe we don’t look to just recover, but we look to grow?  Maybe this whole ordeal is simply about growth; personal, professional, spiritual and most importantly, growth in our relationship with God?

There are two forces in our interior lives.  The ones that draw us away from God and the ones that draw us closer to God.  The ones that draw us away are panic, anxiety, fear and sadness.  The ones that draw us close are strength, tranquility, love and courage.  I feel our growth will certainly come when we slow down, take a deep breath, look for God in our daily lives and pray.  I am setting this as a goal for myself during this crisis - grow with God. 

Dear God,
This is my time with you.  This time is a gift from you.  Please give me the guidance to grow and bask in your glory while loving my neighbor as myself.  In your name we pray - AMEN