As I planned my spring Bible study on the book of Revelation, I felt led to include a personal challenge each week to those attending. Not so much that they might take on the challenge but that I might test whether my faith and learning was having an impact on how I live each day. It was a way to be held accountable by others.

The first week of our study book had a line that stood out to me – “believe more recklessly and behave more playfully.” We talked a bit in class about what that might look like. I was pleased to see Sarah’s sermon title for Sunday, Reckless Love, thinking this would give me more examples of how to live out this instruction – and it did.

There it was again – RECKLESS. That is not part of my vocabulary. Not part of who I am. I am an accountant by trade and we are known to be risk averse. That’s why we get great deals on car insurance. We are trained to count the cost, to know what to expect, to plan for every contingency.

Reckless to me meant irresponsible, careless, foolish.

I decided to look it up.

Reckless does mean all those things. But it also means unthinking boldness. Taking action without counting the cost. Believing without counting the cost. Loving without counting the cost.

I don’t recall seeing anything in the Bible that says “Love until…” or “Don’t believe unless… “ or “Stop loving if… “ Jesus said “Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” He reminded us that the greatest commandments are to love God and love others – unconditional love, reckless love.

How often my cautiousness spills over to these two areas of my life. When you are analytical, it’s difficult to turn off this aspect of who you are. Yet that is I am called to do, what we are all called to do. Believe at ANY cost. Love at ANY cost. Don’t analyze yourself to inaction.

Love – even when it’s not easy – especially when it’s not easy. Believe – even when the world that says believing is a sign of weakness and naiveté.

As I sort through the maze of who I am called to be and what I am called to do, I have recently been confronted with this question: “Do I love people enough?” Do I want to know their stories, share their joys and struggles, be with them in times of grief and stress, listen to their questions that have no answers? Am I willing to put loving them at the top of my TO DO list? To reprioritize my life and allow my thinking to be reordered? To risk taking the unknown path and opening myself up to failure and rejection? Is this my calling?

Matthew 16:24: Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

Mark 8:34: Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

Luke 9:23: Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”

This is my calling. It is the calling of all who would follow Christ.